Disappointment

I don't understand why it is impossible for me to have self control. I shouldn't need someone holding my hand telling me what to eat and when. The fact of the matter is, I do. I am not ready to "on my own." I am really looking forward to going back to curves. I really need to be back there. I am hoping that I will make great progress. 

I have started to fall back to my old eating habits. Of course the scale is reflecting my dumb choices. This week confirmed my belief that stress is detrimental to my health. I NEED to get on schedule and keep it no matter what life throws at me. I want to take some time today to sit down and meal plan. 

Cameron is doing a lot better job of supporting me and I've even been seeing him make some better choices with his eating. He encourages me to go on bike rides with him when we have a chance to. He pushes me when I need to be pushed and he rests with me when I need to rest. I am LOVING our new lifestyle. We've has so much fun this summer taking small hikes on nature trails, riding our bikes and visiting places that in the past that I couldn't or wouldn't go. We're even talking about taking a trip up north to his Uncle's cabin in September for our 9th anniversary. We've been checking out places to explore and hike. We've even discussed going canoeing. That's a huge deal for me. Fat people don't willingly get in boats. 

So, back to tracking what I eat and exercising. This is going to be a challenge. Cameron's aunt is about to lose her nearly 3 year battle with liver cancer. He's extremely close to his aunt. We will be spending a ton of time at the funeral home and visiting family. Ugh. Hopefully I can prepare and pack a cooler  and maybe Cameron and I can sneak away to subway when needed. 

I could never do the Biggest Loser. The thought of being away from my husband and children for that long makes me sick. However, I do wish I could go somewhere, had my food monitored for a week or two. Have a personal trainer. Just to get a jumpstart. I need to go to fat camp. 

Healthy on a Budget

Sometimes in life you have to make sacrifices. This is becoming all too familiar lately. I've set up a plan to make sure that we can afford to eat healthy all month long. I've divided our food budget into 4 weeks. I will then meal plan for the week before I go to the store (using sales and coupons along the way.) I plan to make a weekly trip to our local discount produce store to stock up on all my yummy fruits and veggies.

  I am 99% sure that at the end of the month, we are shutting off the cable so I can join a gym. I've enjoyed the work that I have been doing so far but I need more. It's time to step up my fitness level. My friend that has been helping me is currently in training for a big event and she needs to focus more on her (my words not hers). So, my options are quit or keep going. I am not quitting. I've come too far to turn back now. Although my progress on the scale has been slow there has been huge improvement all around.

In order for me to be able to go to the gym I will have to completely change my schedule. I will be waking up between 6-6:30, showering, slamming a protein shake and then heading off to the gym. I will then get home in just enough time to pass hubby as he runs out the door for work. This is going to take a ton of discipline on my end. I have been trying to do a better job of keeping up on the housework. However, my 7 month old is going through some sort of a needy phase and screams if I set her down. You can imagine how difficult it has been for me to accomplish anything. I am also in the early stages of homeschool planning. It wont be long before the kids are back to their lessons (we start in August  in order to space out our school year and allow more breaks.

The (rough draft) Plan: 

Drink half my body weight worth of water.

Gym - Monday, Wednesday, Friday mornings

Walking on the rest of the days. 

Adjust my eating a little bit more.  

Keep going

Just being real here. I find that not quitting is often harder than starting in the first place. I am in a bit of a lazy rut. I have zero energy. I am still doing good on my eating but my physical activity level is way down this week. I had my first gain this week. I put on .6 pounds. Now, you think that'd be motivation for me to work harder. Instead, I let myself get depressed. I let myself dwell on it far too long. I had my moment to sulk, now it's time to get back to work. Laying on the couch isn't making that .6 pounds ago away.