Every day I have to fight off negative thoughts. Here are just a a few of the things that go through my head on a daily basis:
You are not worth it.
What's the point?
You will never succeed.
No one cares.
You are not strong enough.
I can either choose to believe these things and give up or, rebuke them and keep going. You see, these thoughts are not of God. God has big plans for me, and he's going to use me in a mighty way to do his work. Satan wants me to fail. Do you think I am going to let him win? No! My God is greater.
I have said from the beginning that I wanted to do this without any pills or surgery. Since making that decision I have actually had one friend start taking supplements/shakes/pills and another recently had weight-loss surgery. I didn't know how challenging it would be for me to watch them lose drastic amounts of weight. I want to be happy for them. They deserve to be/healthy just as much as I do. It's just... hard. Still, my decision remains. I want to do this with no pills and no surgery.
Sometimes I feel guilty focusing on me. I've always put everyone else's needs ahead of mine. I also find that it's hard to balance my time between being a wife, mom, Sunday school teacher, homeschool teacher, cook, maid, chauffeur.... then you add workouts and food prep onto that. It's getting a little easier as the days go on but it can still be quite overwhelming at times.
I was on Pinterest last night looking for homeschool ideas and I came across some quotes that really seemed to fit this part of my journey. I thought I'd share:
Food prep has to happen everyday. Just continue to choose what's best. Exercise is tough with all the kids, I know. But you've got to ask yourself if you're doing everything you can to get to it. Can you wake up early? Yes. Can you meet me once a week? Yes. It doesn't need loads of time. 30 minutes. You know you feel good after! Train your body. It's biblical. God honors it. Press towards the mark. The devil wants you. Don't give in!!!
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